I Can’t Meditate. But I Can Still Relax (and so can you).

I know a lot of people who can duck out of life’s stresses by meditating.

They look all peaceful, with colors floating all around them. Kind of like this picture.

Photos.com

Photos.com

Me? I can’t do it.

That’s not for lack of trying. In my travels to various spas – one of my very favorite ways to relax and learn about what’s new in exercise, diet and healthy living – I’ve come upon, and experimented with, many classes on meditation.

Two things happen: Either I fall asleep (and that’s not because I’m meditating, it’s because I’m bored jet-lagged) or I try so hard that I get myself all worked up and do anything but meditate. Instead of helping my stress, it sometimes causes it. I’m sure some of you can identify with this: you start thinking about the strangest and most inconsequential things, like how you really should have smiled at that woman on line behind you at the grocery store, or if your hair looks better right after you wash it or the day after that.

I officially give up. Yet I don’t want to totally give up, since a growing body of evidence points to many health benefits of meditating. And aside from that, who doesn’t need to break the crazy momentum of their day and get back a little bit of themselves?

So instead, just so I don’t continue to frustrate myself (and others in classes who might be sitting near me and get annoyed that I’m snoring not in the zone), I’ve decided to find other ways – little ways – to  relax and decompress, if only for a few moments. (But what precious moments those are!)

Instead of meditation – per se – how about just spending more time in silence? No, I don’t mean going away to a silent retreat, although many welcome this type of oasis where you don’t talk to another soul for days on end. Come to think of it, depending on the person you’re keeping company with, you might want to consider it…

Shut off the sound/ringer on your cell phone and/or computer. Did you know that each time you hear the “ping” of an incoming email, the dopamine level in your brain fires? Translation: This chemical gives you a feeling of euphoria that controls your behavior (stimulants like cocaine and methamphetamines act directly on the dopamine system. No, I’m not suggesting you use these). What’s wrong with that? It feels so good that checking email becomes an addiction in no time…which leads you to crave more, and eventually it just plain saps your energy. And there virtually is no silence when your brain is constantly checking in with other people.

Get out of your environment. There’s something about being in a different space that can lead to reflection and the feeling of getting away. Often it opens up your mind and helps it run free. Hopefully you can even get back in touch with the things you care about most.

Turn off the TV or radio. It can become a habit – and so many times you’re not even watching or listening. Instead, it’s just background noise. And that kind of noise can make you anxious, preoccupied, unsettled.

Drive in silence. Try it – it’s really calming not to have the radio on (see above). And it increases self-awareness, another goal of meditation.

Exercise. The repetitive actions of things like jogging, walking or swimming can be meditative, much like the way, in meditation, you repeat a mantra to relax and focus yourself.

Stop multitasking. Then you can pay full attention to what you’re doing and not add all that stimulation. (And isn’t that another goal of meditation?)

Don’t pick up the phone on the first ring (that is, if you didn’t take suggestion #1 and silence it). Breathe three times – and then pick it up. It teaches you to breathe and not react right away. There’s something downright powerful in not reacting right away (at least there is to me).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Rosalba Gordon says:

    Wow! you totally right Sheryl, I don’t know how to meditate and get bored pretty soon… buy, I feel so good when I turn all the noise off and stay in silence looking the sky through my window. I just need few minutes to feel more relaxed.

  2. Really good ideas. I cannot meditate either, and there are ALL KINDS of noises during the day that wear on me. I sometimes put in ear plugs to block some of it out.
    Roxanne @ Champion of My Heart recently posted..Crappy, Crappy MondayMy Profile

  3. I don’t have the ping of a cell phone to turn off, no cell phone. But I did discover that cutting the sound on emails makes me relax. Another secret is walking at the beach at low tide. For me, that is the closest I get to meditation.

  4. I love the idea of thinking of spending some time in silence instead of meditating. I do wish I could meditate better! We’ve been having a moment of silence at dinner most nights. It’s just a few minutes. But I can feel the stress ebb away.
    Jennifer Margulis recently posted..Two Winning College Application EssaysMy Profile

  5. These are great. I don’t meditate either, although I think that when I am exercising it is almost the same thing.
    Brette Sember recently posted..Storage War: WonMy Profile

  6. My mind is full of extraneous thoughts when I try to clear it, but I kind of enjoy watching those thoughts float by and seeing just what it is that is taking up space up there! There are other things that can put you in a meditative state–as Brette mentioned, exercise is certainly one. And it can be relaxing just to let your mind wander, particularly when you’ve been concentrating on wordcentric work.
    Vera Marie Badertscher recently posted..The Best of the Best: Venice in PhotosMy Profile

  7. ChristineGL says:

    Coincidentally I just saw a video for this going around, but – alas! – haven’t find the time to sit and watch it. Lately, I listen to music (not the radio) to try to relax. It helps.
    http://www.ted.com/talks/andy_puddicombe_all_it_takes_is_10_mindful_minutes.html

    • Music…yes. Must be the right kind, though. Sometimes even soft music gets on my nerves. Strange, I know.
      Thanks for sending the link to the TED talk, Christine!

  8. Getting out of my environment is key for me. I need a change of surroundings every once in a while–even if I cause it just my rearranging my office.
    Alisa Bowman recently posted..3 Bogus Excuses We Give for Falling ShortMy Profile

  9. I have “quiet time” in the afternoon. Sometimes I’m able to meditate, but most times I fall asleep as well. These are some good tips!
    Living Large recently posted..Pet Treat Recalls Have Us Making Our OwnMy Profile

    • Good for you for being able to relax that much, LL. . I could take a nap every single afternoon. Not that I do…but it’s on my “should” list :)

  10. I’m not good at meditating either. Walking in nature is my substitute to meditating. It both relaxes and invigorates me.
    Donna Hull recently posted..Saturday’s scene: the amber glow of GdanskMy Profile

  11. I’m a wannabe meditator too. It sounds so appealing and yet you’re right that it’s hard to quiet the voices in your head. I guess there’s a new HBO (second season) show that delves into this topic. I heard the Laura Dern (the co-creator, lead) talking about it recently on NPR. I guess we’re all thinking about it…
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  12. Wonderful advice here. It’s always been hard for me to meditate, too; the mind-chatter just won’t stop.
    ruth pennebaker recently posted..Two People Try to Explain the UnexplainableMy Profile

  13. I try to remind myself that there is no “right” way to meditate, and that anything that shifts me out of my mind-focus and into the present is valuable, feels good and is good for me.

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